Birth Parents Choosing to Parent Their Child
Expectant birth parents that are matched with an adoptive family can change their mind about adoption. Birth parents retain all of their rights, as parents, until their rights are relinquished and/or terminated legally. Birth parents choosing to parent can be a risk in private domestic adoptions.
A mother may change her mind and choose to parent her child even up to the last moment, before the revocation of her rights becomes final. Not all states have a revocation period (or change your mind) period. As an adoptive family, one way to mitigate this from happening is to work with a reputable adoption agency that is experienced in recognizing when the intentions of a potential birth parent are not honest.
With caring guidance from an experienced adoption agency counselor, women who are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy can make an informed choice as to what they really want – whether to parent or to choose adoption. With this, parenting as an option is usually explored long before the birth and placement of the baby. As prospective parents working with a seasoned agency, you will have an adoption team that will be on the lookout for signs that the birth mother may be changing her mind.
Negative Results of the Home Study
The home study is an important component in the adoption. It provides a thorough assessment of the adoptive families suitability to provide a loving, safe and caring home for the child. There may be times that you may get negative results in the home study and/or need to work through some concerns.
This can be due to the existence of a DUI or criminal record. There may be problems with your health or your finances. The social worker may also evaluate your reasons for adopting and whether you still have to resolve issues with your spouse or with any infertility problems.
Before you embark on the home study, you need to sit down and carefully evaluate all the aspects that relate to the adoption, so that you know that you are ready to go through with the home study. This way, you can already pinpoint any areas where you need to prepare in advance (i.e. provide medical certifications that you are physically capable to parent) in case there are concerns about your health.
Expectant birth parents will have other people that will want to help them make their decision about an adoption placement. The birth father may want to be involved with the decision regarding the baby. It is important to understand the legal rights of the birth mother and the birth father.
The family of the unborn baby may want to be involved in the life of the child and the decisions that the birth parents are making for the baby. Having a good counselor that can help the birth parents navigate these situations and conversations helps the birth parents to make the decisions that are best for their baby.
As Elizabeth Stone wisely said, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Parenthood (whether by birth or through adoption) is inherently about risk and reward. The adoption process can feel like even more risk because there are many unknown variables. But with patience, commitment and the help of a trustworthy adoption agency, you will make it through this journey and your family be blessed.