Your Donation Builds Families

My name is Kathy Kunkel. I would like to share our story with you. To us, adoption is a true act of love. I know that because I learned over the last 45 years adoption is about people. It's about relationships, hope, and love. It is through adoption that my own family was made possible. I have sat on both sides of this experience — as a mother waiting to bring a child home, and as a friend to the women who made that possible. There will always be a special place in my heart for birth parents, and an equally deep one for the adoptive families who have trusted us to help them grow. I feel support should always be with compassion, respect, and understanding.

My husband and I have been married for fifty-seven years. We have ten beautiful children, eight of whom joined our family through adoption — including international adoption of two daughters we welcomed home from Korea. And some of our children through domestic adoption. Our family is of many different cultures and races. Our family tree keeps growing, and it now includes grandchildren who came to us through adoption as well. My husband, Dieter, has a beautiful story that we would like to share. Dieter served as a US Marine in the Vietnam War for our country. He is now considered a disabled veteran. His experience of what he saw was unimaginable and lost friends wondering why he didn't die. He came so close many times. He always was concerned for the families, children, and their safety. While he was serving at the time in Vietnam, three Vietnamese children came up to him and gave him a charm that meant protection and said, "Keep this; it will protect you." He carried it with him through his duty and even brought it into our family when we got married. Dieter always had a passion to give back and help families and children; he wanted to make sure they were taken care of and have a life of fullness, love, and stability. He felt deep in his heart that for the rest of his life he needed to continue giving back because his life was spared. And those children wanted him to have the faith to get through it. He has totally dedicated his life to strengthening family for others.

About our children: several of our children live with special needs, including intellectual disabilities, autism, FAS, and other developmental disabilities. Raising them has taught my husband and I more than any training ever could. I understand what it is to wait for answers, to advocate for a child who cannot always advocate for themselves, and to celebrate progress that no one outside your home would think to notice. Those experiences have taught me patience, compassion, and that every child has incredible worth and potential. When an adoptive family sits across from me worried about whether they are equipped for a particular child, I am not speaking to them from behind a desk. I have been where they are sitting. And I can tell them honestly that the joy is every bit as real as the hard days.

During the course of our own adoptions, I had the privilege of meeting and forming friendships with many birth parents. As we cared for some of them in our home and experienced what they were going through and listened to their thoughts and feelings, they were gracious enough to share their stories with me, and to tell me what they wished had been available when they were making their own adoption plans. I had also spent years alongside other hopeful parents, and I knew how long the waiting can feel and how much a family aches for the child who is meant to be theirs. Both sides of that experience needed something better than what existed. Because of the love I feel for birth parents, adoptive parents, and children, and the dedication and passion in my heart for adoption, I opened the doors of Act of Love Adoptions in 1993. We are a 501(c)(3) nonprofit charitable child-placing agency licensed in the State of Utah (adoption agency). As it began in my own home, I found it was very comfortable for families and birth parents at that time. We have helped to build thousands of adoption journeys, and helped countless birth parents, adoptive parents, and children. I learned that every adoption journey is unique, and every person deserves to be treated with dignity, honesty, and kindness throughout the adoption process. I started adoption support groups and brought in experts to teach in classes.

Our mission statement is: “TO SERVE CHILDREN TO HELP BUILD LOVING FAMILIES WHO SHARE THE JOY OF LIVING AND LOVING TOGETHER”.

At the center of it all is a child. Every decision we make comes back to one question: Will this little one grow up in a loved, safe, and permanent home? That is the promise we are keeping to a birth mother when she trusts us with the hardest decision of her life, and it is the same promise we are keeping to a family who has waited years to become parents. I believe very much in open adoption when it is appropriate and desired by everyone involved. Some want it, and some may not. I believe healthy communication and ongoing relationships can benefit children, birth parents, and adoptive families for years to come.

More than thirty years later, I believe this work matters more than ever. The adoption landscape is changing, and the rules surrounding it grow more complicated every year. That is precisely why experience matters — for a woman weighing an impossible decision, and just as much for a family trying to understand a process that can feel overwhelming from the outside. Neither of them needs the process explained to them. They need someone who has walked it hundreds of times and will tell them the truth about what each path really looks like. This is why we want to expand and get licensed in other states. Because of our experience, we want to grow to help others. We have many resources to offer.

And a birth mother deserves to choose. I have never believed she should feel steered. She should be given her options clearly and honestly — including the option to parent — and then be supported completely in whatever she decides. If she chooses to raise her child, we will celebrate that with her. Advocating for birth mothers means advocating for their right to decide. In my experience, the families who come to us want exactly that, too. No one wants to build their family on a decision someone else felt pushed into.

People often ask me why I've stayed in adoption for so many years with all the emotions, and how difficult it is at times. My answer is simple: my husband and I truly love what we do. Helping birth parents explore their options, watching families grow, and seeing children thrive has been one of the greatest blessings of our lives. Adoption is our passion, and our hope is to continue to build not only thousands of adoption journeys but also a legacy of compassion, trust, and hope that continues to change lives every day. Our team at Act of Love is made up of birth parents, adoptive parents, adoptees, and professionals who have given their careers to this work — also three of our beautiful children and two of our beautiful grandchildren to carry on. We go the extra mile because we have each lived some part of this story. We love each other like family, and we welcome all with open arms — whichever chapter of this journey they are beginning.

With my love, Kathy

I was honored as an Angel in Adoption by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI) in 2004. We are also members of Utah Adoption Council.