Can A Ceremony Help Adoption Day Feel Less Scary?
As your baby’s birth approaches you may wonder how to honor the transition you, your baby, and the adoptive parents are about to make together. Each of you plays an essential role in what is about to happen. Regardless of how you got to this point, one thing is very clear: you love your baby very much.
Human beings find a lot of power and meaning in ceremony; we like to come together in moments of significant change to remind ourselves that some things remain consistent. Think about a high school graduation or a wedding. These ceremonies give us a chance to accept change in a meaningful way while expressing hope for the future. Adoption day is no different.
How Can You Honor Adoption Day?
Many birth mothers/parents hold an Entrustment Ceremony to recognize the unique union between themselves, their baby, and the adoptive parents. An entrustment ceremony is a way to mark this essential moment in everyone’s lives. It gives you a chance to pause amidst the change, to reflect on the beliefs, hopes, love, and intentions for your baby and their adopted parents.
What is an Entrustment Ceremony?
An entrustment ceremony can honor your baby’s transition from their birth parents to their adoptive parents in a significant and powerful way. It can be a quick exchange of words between birth and adoptive parents or a party involving everyone. Or something in between. There is no right way to have an entrustment ceremony; it’s all up to you.
Include it in Your Adoption Plan
Entrustment ceremonies are easiest with an open adoption plan but still possible with a semi-open adoption. If you’ve chosen a semi-open adoption you’ll need to ask your adoption specialist and/or your lawyer to help mediate the ceremony.
If you’ve decided to have a closed adoption you can still have a ceremony for yourself and your support system. You can take photos/videos of your baby, recite a poem or sing songs before your baby goes with their adopted family. Honoring yourself and what you are feeling is all part of your healing process.
Where Should it Be?
You can have it at the hospital, a church, a park, a restaurant, or hotel. It can be a private moment between you and the adoptive parents or involve extended family, your adoption specialist, your support group, and friends.
What Should We Do?
Whether you plan this yourself or involve the adoptive parents is up to you. You can choose to share a poem or special thought, you can ask someone to summarize the moment with words, music, or prayer. You can take a moment to share why you chose the adoptive parents and why you trust them to love, protect, and raise your child. The adoptive parents might want a moment to express their love for the baby, their deep appreciation for you, and share a promise to do their very best.
More Ideas For Your Adoption Entrustment Ceremony
- Consider making a video to preserve the memory. This can be something you look back on to remind yourself why you made the decision to place your baby with their adopted parents.
- Create a piece of art like a plaster of your baby’s hands, or hand and foot prints.
- Share a tradition. If you have an important or unique family tradition you’d like to share with the adoptive family, think of a special way to “give” this tradition to them so they can share it with your baby.
- Honor your baby’s heritage and culture from both their birth and adopted families; especially if they are different.
- Exchange vows with the adopted parents as a symbol of your families joining in a new and unique way.
- Exchange private letters to one another to be read later.
- Make a blanket for your baby or give a gift they’ll know is from you.
- Take lots of photos. This day may be full of nerves, worry and sadness but it will have important memories you don’t want to forget.
How, where, and why you do an entrustment ceremony is up to you. It can bring closure to a difficult time, symbolize the transition, and create meaningful memories you will cherish for the rest of your life.
If you have an unplanned pregnancy and are considering adoption, Act of Love is available 24/7 to answer questions and provide support with absolutely no commitment required.
Call us day or night. 800-835-6360 or text 801-450-0094