Once you have completed the application and home study process, your paperwork is finished and you have received approval for adoption with Act of Love; carefully consider each situation that is presented to you. If you do not feel comfortable with the situation for whatever reason, it would be best to pass on that particular one and wait for the situation that feels right. Like birth parents, adoptive families are also looking to connect to the right birth parent for them. One of the worst things that can happen to a birth mother is to be given profiles of parents that know all about her situation, and have asked that their profile be presented to her, and when she selects that adoptive parent, they decide its “not right” for them. Ask questions before your profile is shown, not after. You can avoid a lot of heartbreak for everyone involved if you do this.
Another adoption requirement is to have a clear cut decision in mind about the ethnic background you feel is best for your family. Make sure, that if you are adopting as a couple, you both are in agreement on this subject. Another decision that must be made beforehand is whether or not you will accept situations where birth parents have used drugs and/or alcohol. Do your research, talk to physicians and know where you stand on the subject. If you are not willing to adopt a baby that has been exposed to drugs or alcohol, do not have your profile shown to that birth parent. Talk with the social work team at Act of Love to receive further information and counseling. There is no judgement involved with helping a family to decide which parameters are best for their family. It is a requirement of adoptive families to be truthful and honest in the information that is provide and to let the adoption agency know when they may have made changes to the parameters they feel are best for their family.
It is important to note there are times that the adoption agency may not be given all of the information from a birth parent. Birth parents are interviewed and complete paperwork that is then given to adoptive parents to review, so as to be able to make a decision regarding the potential situation. Sometimes more information is obtained at the time of birth through medical records and will be given to the adoptive parents at that time. It is important for adoptive parents to feel comfortable with the baby they are adopting and know in their hearts that this child will be loved and given the very best opportunities in life.
Many adoption agencies have birth parent panels for adoptive parents that are preparing for adoption. The training and preparation is also one the requirements to adopt. Adoptive parents have remarked that listening to birth parents talk about their adoption experience was one of the most important parts of their preparation and training. Listening to birth parents helped them understand and prepare for their adoption and make the decisions regarding contact before, during and after placement. Hearing the words of women and men that have placed their children for adoption was very eye opening and helpful to perspective adoptive parents. Some even change their minds about their contact with the birth parents, going from a closed adoption to one that would have more interaction with the birth parents. Adoptive parents learn about the benefits that their child may have due to an open adoption. Being able to meet and learn about the birth parents personalities, hope and dreams for their baby, likes and dislikes will be extremely important to the adopted child.
There are a number of great books on adoption that can be very helpful in learning about the process and aspects of adoption. One called, Dear Birthmother, is mentioned time and time again by adoptive parents. Adoptive parents claim this book gave them a wonderful understanding of birth parents and increased their love and understanding for them. Contact us today to find out about more great literature and training classes. The training and preparation requirement will become invaluable to you as an adoptive parent.
As you contemplate or begin your adoption journey, know that the right baby will come to you at the right time, and that experiences that may happen along the way will prepare you for the adoption experience. The staff at Act of Love has over twenty years in adoption experience and works 24/7 to ensure the very best possible adoption experience.