David & Jordan

Hi there.

Hi there. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. We know you’re in the process of making one of the most important decisions of your life and we really admire your strength, courage, and selflessness.
Our story – There is nothing more important to us than family and the unconditional love and acceptance that comes with it. In fact, that was one of the first things that drew us to one another when we met. We’ll never forget that day! We were both Peace Corps Volunteers in Ukraine and crossed paths at a fundraiser. Long story short, we ended up spending the day talking about everything: our childhoods, our families, our Peace Corps communities, our plans for the future. We even talked about adoption! Seven years later, we adopted our son, Adrian (born January 2018) and we are all eager to welcome the newest member of our family.
Meet Jordan, by David – There have only been a couple things that I have been absolutely sure about. The first one was knowing that I couldn’t let Jordan be the one who got away. Lucky for me, I didn’t. Since you haven’t met her yet, I want to give you a sense of her personality – that way when you meet her, you’ll know what she’s all about.

First and foremost, Jordan is curious. She’s always looking for something new that will capture her imagination. That could be a new magazine just as easily as it could be this month’s page turner from her book club. You also see that with her podcasts. I know that whenever she mentions a podcast I am about to learn something interesting.

Second, Jordan is the spirit of our family. Her presence breathes so much life into our place. She dyes Easter eggs, she decks the halls for Christmas, and goes all-out for birthdays. Jordan’s personality is the moment after you plug in all the Christmas lights.

Third, Jordan takes great care of herself and our family. One of the ways she unwinds is by doing those goofy workout videos. Even our cat eats well. Jordan is always tracking down these amazing recipes and finding ways to substitute in healthy ingredients. Other people do this, but Jordan is a master.

This brings me to the second thing that I am absolutely sure of: Jordan is an incredible mom. She is always coming up with new activities that spur Adrian’s creativity and open up his imagination. Just this week she helped him give his toy animals a bubble bath and fingerpaint his way to a new masterpiece. She’s there for the skinned knees and high fevers. She’ll be there for bad break-ups and brownie bake-sales. There really isn’t anyone you want in your corner more than Jordan.

Meet David, by Jordan – If I had to choose one word to describe David, it would be demonstrative. This might sound strange, but let me explain why it describes him perfectly. Demonstrative can mean “unrestrained in showing feelings, especially those of affection” or “serving as conclusive evidence of something.” Both capture what I love about David.

David is an eternal optimist. He is a dedicated partner and father, and he is totally uninhibited when it comes to demonstrating how much he appreciates and values the people in his life. He is a man that speaks kindly, that showers praise and compliments, that (almost) never complains about making dinner or cleaning the floors, that takes the most mundane of life’s moments and makes them more fun than I could possibly imagine. When we met 10 years ago, within the course of a day, we went from being total strangers to feeling like old friends. David’s easy-going nature, the way he makes a group laugh, his goofy (i.e. absent) sense of fashion, and just about everything about him immediately makes people feel relaxed in his presence.

These same qualities make David an amazing father. He is inquisitive, he is thoughtful, and he is one of the silliest people I ever met (for better or worse, he’s been rehearsing Dad jokes for years). With our son, David invents games like “tickle spiders” and elicits belly laughs with his silly voices, but he’s also a great teacher. He had Adrian reading at three-years old! He has a very close bond with Adrian and it makes me so happy to see how much they adore one another. David loves people exactly the way they are and I am lucky to be a parent with him.

Adoption in Our Lives – We adopted our son, Adrian, at birth in January 2018 and the process changed our lives forever. One of the most wonderful parts about adoption is recognizing that your child could be born anywhere from any background. It makes you feel connected to the whole world in a brand new way. When we matched with Adrian’s birth mom, we clicked instantly, bonding over our mutual love of football and indie rock. She felt like an old friend and over the next few months, she would show us what selflessness, bravery, and love truly means. She was the first person to know and love our son, and he will always know that.

We believe it’s important for children to know their story, so we would prefer an open adoption and to stay part of one another’s lives. With Adrian’s birth family, we share a private app where we upload photos and videos on a regular basis. This app allows us to easily share lots of moments, from photos of him on his first Halloween as a tiny hedgehog to footage of him taking his first steps. We would love to do the same with our second child’s birth family.
We don’t know our second child’s story yet, but we do know for certain that we already appreciate, love, and respect their birth family with all our hearts.

Our Lives Overseas – As diplomats, our lifestyle is a bit different from most Americans. Our home base will always be Washington, D.C., but we live overseas for 2-3 years at a time, providing unique opportunities for our children to have immersive, cross-cultural experiences. We lived in Mexico for the last two years and returned to the DC area in January 2022.

We currently live in a charming apartment in northern Virginia, situated in a quiet, tree-lined community in an otherwise bustling city. Our home looks out onto a large courtyard, which includes Adrian’s favorite playground, a dog park (we like to keep an eye out for the silly one in a pink jacket), and plenty of space for bike riding and scootering. Inside, our home is spacious and tidy – Adrian takes after his mom and actually likes putting his toys away!

One great aspect of where we live is the extended family that surrounds us. All of our siblings (five in total!) live within an hour’s drive. Adrian has four cousins ranging in age from 0 to 6, and we love soaking up time together.

Just as important to us as our home in Virginia is the community we maintain when we live overseas. While we anticipate moving periodically, our children will grow up in an environment where moving is viewed as normal and an exciting opportunity to experience new cultures, meet new people, and learn new languages. As an interracial family, it is extremely important to us to be surrounded by a diverse and accepting community, and we feel very fortunate to have careers, friendships, and colleagues that connect us to all walks of life.

Within the diplomatic community, there is a tremendous support system for children and adults alike, since the vast majority of our friends and colleagues move on a regular basis. It’s also a community that embraces diversity, as many families adopt or have interracial families through marriage. We have seen that over time, children in families like ours grow up understanding the value of public service and they are adept at adjusting to changing environments.

Education – Education is very important to us and we have chosen careers that will give our children access to the best private schools all over the globe. At the same time, we recognize that every individual reacts differently to change, especially as teenagers. Fortunately, our careers provide us with the flexibility to remain in D.C. while our children proceed through middle and high school if that turns out to be a better fit.

We also feel strongly that a lot of learning happens outside the classroom so it is important to us that our children truly experience the world around them – whether that is exploring new places, trying different cuisines, listening to all kinds of music, or just going on walks in our community. In Mexico, Adrian became fluent in Spanish by attending a play-based preschool. We’re thrilled that he is a native-level Spanish speaker! To keep it up, he attends a Spanish-speaking preschool in Virginia.

Above all, our kids are our number one priority. We will do everything in our power to ensure they have unforgettable childhoods, but that they also feel grounded and supported throughout their adolescence and young adulthood.

Cultural Diversity – As white parents of a mixed-race son, we take care to surround our family with people, books, and music that represent all different backgrounds. We have a very diverse extended family with members from four continents, but our son is the first with African-American heritage. As adoptive parents, we believe it’s important to highlight what binds us as a family, but it’s also important to be open about what distinguishes us as individuals. For our son and future child, that means helping them explore and understand their unique heritages.

As we look forward to adopting again, we are excited to imagine what our second child’s background and story might be. We will be our children’s rock and advocate, but inevitably there will be parts of their experience that only their adopted sibling will understand. We see our role as parents as supporting them in exploring and understanding their identity and to connect them to the communities they feel closest to however we can.

Our Extended Families – We have an abundance of family ready to adore the newest member of our crew. One of the best parts of our family is the huge variety of people from different countries, faiths, and cultures. David’s dad was born in Lebanon, while Jordan’s dad was born in New Jersey. Our nieces on one side speak Spanish and Farsi on the other. No matter our child’s cultural background, academic interests, or spiritual beliefs, our family is guaranteed to love and support them in whoever they are and whatever they do.

The vast majority of our family lives near our home base in Washington, D.C., but with the nature of our work, we need to be creative in how we stay connected. When we lived in Mexico, our son loved our weekly video calls with his grandmas and cousins, and we sent them his best artwork on a regular basis. Every year we look forward to Thanksgiving with David’s family and visits from Jordan’s family on Christmas. No matter where we go, our children will know that they are a part of a large, loving, and accepting family.

In Closing – Thank you for taking the time to get to know us. We tried to pour as much of ourselves into this letter as possible and we hope that after reading it you have a sense of who we are as people and the sort of family that we aspire to be. We are open books and look forward to sharing more of who we are and learning more about you.

With lots of love and affection,
David & Jordan

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