Some pretty amazing matches have been made in adoption when both birthparents and adoptive parents are open and willing to look at all options. Some birthparents do not want to select a family; they want the agency to do so for them. At A Act of Love Adoption Agency, that is an option, but many times the information birthparents provide helps to find the family that is right for their baby. It is a very interesting process as a birthparent decides who is best to love, nurture and be the best parents for their child.
Adoption agencies take the placement of children into adoptive homes, very seriously. It is a huge responsibility to place the life of a child into the right hands. For this purpose, Act of Love takes the time and steps to really make sure the placement is right for the baby. Because we believe so strongly in adoption counseling during the pregnancy, through the birthing and relinquishment process, and post-partum, birthparents who decide they want an agency select option, are asked many questions about themselves, their interests, the type of parenting styles they prefer, their background, their goals and types of families they could picture their child in.
In other adoptions, birthparents may say they want a certain type of couple, a certain religion with a certain number of children. As birthparents narrow their parameters about adoptive parents, they may be excluding profiles of people they would really like and relate to. The same goes for adoptive couples. As they look for a certain type of birthparent, they may forego some birthparents that would match them perfectly.
The real lesson in the matching process is the more open birthparents and adoptive parents are in being willing to look at just about every situation, the more likely they are to find the right fit. In some cases, birthparents want their child to be the first child in the family. While it is fun, exciting and fabulous to have that first baby, parents can also be way more nervous and sometimes a little overprotective and domineering to that first child. As other children come into the family, parents become more relaxed and have learned a lot more about parenting from the first child. Often times, when my fourth child complains about being the last, my first child reminds her of all the privileges she has received, compared to him. He never fails to mention the 7 p.m. summer bedtime he had when all the kids in the neighborhood were still outside playing.
I guess the most important thing to remember is to be willing to consider just about anything and then see what your heart tells you. Just about everybody includes faith in their adoption journey. It’s nearly impossible not to. Whatever higher power one seeks for help, they will know in their heart when they have found the right situation. We see it time and time again. The match that brings peace to both birthparents and adoptive parents, the fit that just feels right, the trust that instantly bonds one to another and the love that both feel for the child that they will lovingly share.
As you begin or continue your adoption journey, take some risks, consider possibilities you might not have otherwise, and know in your heart that when it is right, you will know it!