Together with my counselor at the adoption agency we’ve come up with a phrase. Private, but not a secret. My son and the adoption process is something that is private, but not something I want to keep secret. There are a few people in my life who know about my adoption journey and I am so thankful for them, but often times I am overcome with the amount of people who are unaware and how it makes things that much harder.

For example, there are a few expectant mothers at my job. I can’t help but join in to talk about their pregnancies, but it gets a little weird. I can see their faces wondering how I know so much about swollen feet, induced labor, and babies sitting on your bladder! I consciously have to curb my enthusiasm.

Or even recently I developed plantar fascitis. It’s an inflammation of the tissue on the bottom of the foot. It’s common in women who are pregnant (me) or have gained a lot of weight (me again). My boss, a chiropractor, is treating me but he seemed a little confused as to how I may have developed it. He knows I was an athlete in high school. I just told him I gained a lot of weight last year and left it at that.

Even more difficult to explain is why I’m here in Utah. I have my friends and family in New Jersey, but I wanted to stay in Utah, where my son is, to take advantage of the openness of the adoption. I meet folks all the time who ask me why I am in Utah. Do I tell everyone that I placed my son here?
So it’s a struggle. The more questions that come the easier it gets to explain without fully explaining. We shall see what next year brings!

To send comments to Dee or ask questions, please email to adopt@aactofloveadoptions.com or leave a message on the blog.