I was talking to a new friend the other day about my efforts to get back to my goal weight. We talked about different exercise routines and how to push past my plateau. I mentioned that I put on 50lbs last year and lost 30 of it already. She was shocked.

“Why did you put on so much weight so fast?”

I almost replied matter-of-factly, “When I was pregnant.”

But I caught myself. My pregnancy and adoption is not a secret, but it’s not something I throw out to any new co-worker during a conversation about working out. This is something I wonder if other birthmothers experience. How does one explain the 9 month gap of time down the road? How do you explain the weight gain or weight loss? Or the break in schooling during job interviews?

I’ve decided not to explain for now. I just ended up replying. “Lots of different ways.”
We got back to the conversation and she was none the wiser, but I left with a new problem to think about. How much of myself can I reveal? The fact that I am a birthmother is so much of who I am now and sometimes I feel bad that others can’t see that. And then there are other times when I don’t want others to identify me as a birthmother to avoid prejudgment.
It is a continual maze that I am trying to navigate. I look forward to experience teaching me how.