Adoption used to hold a stigma for all concerned – the parents who have adopted the child and most of all, the birthparents. The good thing is that this has changed for the better in the recent years. However, even with the growing acceptance of adoption as another way to build a family, there still remain some myths that need debunking.

Here are some of the common myths:
– Adoption is “giving the child up”. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Birthparents, especially the birth mothers, need to be freed from the stigma of having taken the easy way out. The choice for adoption is and never will be an easy one to make. People need to be aware of the kind of decision a birth mother makes when she chooses adoption. Yes, birthparents will naturally think about how the decision will have an impact on them personally, but the thrust is to make the choice based on the child’s best interest. Birthparents choose adoption because they know that they are not emotionally and financially ready to parent. It will be in the child’s best interest to ensure that he goes to a loving home, with parents who have the means to nurture and care for the child. This ultimately means giving the child what is best for him, not “giving up”.
– I need my parents’ consent to choose adoption. Regardless of whether you are an adult or not, the law gives the birthparents the right to make the choice. The birth grandparents cannot make the decision for you, nor can they force their choice on you. However, your parents can be a good source of moral support, so make the effort to have a heart-to-heart talk with them to help them understand your reasons behind your choice.
– What about the father? Involving the father and the mother of the child in the adoption plan can help provide the child with his social and medical history. Adoption counselors are able to help both birth father and birth mother make adoption plans and post-adoption contact.
– Birth mothers can receive compensation from prospective parents. No, choosing adoption is not about financial gain for the birthparents. Rather, adoption is about placing the child in a home where he is loved and where he can grow and thrive. The birthparents are supposed to make their choices without any coercion, undue influence or intervention from parents or the adoption agency. Birth mothers may receive assistance for their pregnancy related expenses; such as, living expenses, as well as the medical costs and the costs involved with legal services and counseling.
– You can no longer change your mind. Birth moms cannot relinquish their rights to their child until the child is born. In many states, birth fathers can relinquish their rights prior to birth. Reputable agencies such as A Act of Love will not exert influence or coerce a mother into choosing adoption when this no longer is her choice and will provide counseling to birth parents regarding the adoption process. Legal counsel will be made available to birth parents that have legal questions and to explain when their rights have been terminated. Adoption plans can also be made with a child that has been born.
– The adoption agency is on the waiting parents’ side. A reputable adoption agency will seek to work for the best interests of the adoption triad – the birthparents, the parents and especially the child. As a potential birthparent you will receive counseling to help ensure that this is the choice you would like to make. You can also obtain legal advice and guidance on your adoption plan.