Matthew will be two this week! I am so excited about his birthday. I cannot wait to see pictures and hear all about what he has been doing. It will be a very exciting time to get the update in the mail. He is a little stud; I am sure.

Throughout the year, I experience different emotions in relation to placing Matt for adoption. Typically, I am a happy person, and when I think of him and his family, my thoughts are warm, loving, and generally good thoughts. There are times, however, when I cry or just feel sad. I miss him all the time, but my attitude toward it fluctuates throughout the year. This year, with his birthday arriving in a few days, I feel really happy and excited about his birthday and getting an update. (Last year, his first birthday was really hard, and getting an update was even harder because I knew it would be the last one for a whole year!) In general, the past two weeks have been absolutely horrible; I just lost my cat, which was 19 years old, and we had her since she was born. I have not been myself to say the least. What is surprising is that thinking about my adoption experience and my son has actually lifted my spirits! Usually, if I think about Matt too much, I get really sad. This is not the case this time.

The boys and I do not have grand plans for this weekend. We will visit my dad for a bit, but there are no big celebrations going on. I think we might have to plan something for Matt’s birthday. My boys, Matt’s brothers, really love Matt. They ask about him and want me to buy “babies” (stuffed animals-particularly puppies) for him. Edward and Matthias would love to have a birthday celebration for their little brother!

Matthew’s birthday is definitely something to celebrate! To think that I nearly had an abortion is almost unfathomable now. I am so glad I chose adoption instead. His life, him just being here with his family, is something I will be able to cherish forever.