Being a birth parent is tough. It takes a serious emotional toll on anyone courageous enough to live with the consequences of the greatest sacrifice anyone can make on this earth today. We birth moms experience pregnancy, childbirth, and are then left to deal with the lifelong heartache of losing a child to adoption. It is not the end of the world, but for a few weeks, or maybe a few months, it certainly feels like it.
You deal with the emotional agony of it all, go through the physical pains of childbirth, and then you go home without your baby. Then you are home, out in the world, at work, church, hanging out with friends…and someone makes a comment about adoption, birth moms, or abandonment. Or it might be the case that someone has the audacity to ask the question if you wanted your baby or if you ever loved your baby.
Maybe you feel angry, like “Hulk” angry, or ashamed, embarrassed, or greatly offended that someone would even question your love for the baby you carried in your belly for 40 weeks.
Or perhaps no one knows you are a birth parent and someone makes a comment stereotyping birth moms, or perhaps praising adoptive moms and belittling birth moms, and you feel that angry green beast teetering on the edge of your self-control just waiting to smash (verbally, let’s not get physically Hulk-ish) the offender…
There will be times when birth parents get offended by the innocent or sometimes blatant disrespectful words from others.
Let it go.
It is all too easy to feel offended by someone else’s words. I promise you that as a birth parent, you are not selfish, unloving, lazy, or uncaring. You are someone who had an amazing amount of love for your baby and chose to show that in an incredibly selfless way.
You have done something very few people in this world have neither the courage nor strength to do what you did. If you feel that you must respond to offensive comments or defend yourself, do so in a compassionate and non-aggressive manner and remember the sacrifice you have made.
Call today to get support with the emotions of adoption.
Get help and know there others who truly care about you!
A phone call away 1-800-835-6360 or text 801-450-0094.
Get the support from women like Sklyar! 24 hours/7 days a week