A birthmother recently texted her adoption counselor and caseworker at Act of Love Adoptions: I’ve found a family for my son! After a long search for just the “right” family, she felt confident that she had found them. This wonderful birthmother wanted to be sure that the couple she selected would keep their word about the openness agreement. She loves and adores her precious baby and wanted a family that she could get to know and trust, people she could call family. She wanted to be sure in her heart that they would follow through with her openness plan until the child was an adult and could do as he pleased.

For most birthparents, this is not an uncommon worry or request. Placing a precious and much loved baby with an adoptive couple takes amazing strength and sacrifice. Knowing where the child is going and having a relationship with the adoptive family prior to birth, is an absolute must for many birthparents.

Another birthmother spent a fun weekend with the adoptive couple and she selected a month ago. She and her daughter were able to be with them at the zoo and really got to know what a great couple they were. The Act of Love staff assisted in coordinating this time together to bond and strengthen their relationship. They were able to correspond with email through the agency for another eight weeks, just like old friends as they talked about the nursery for the baby, how work was going for the birthmother, and other events that happened that week. Three days before the due date, the adoptive mom flew to the birthmother’s state to spend a couple days together and be there for the birth. Again, it was so great for the two of them to be together, enjoy each other’s company and be a support to one another. A day or two past the due date is when the baby finally decided to make his entrance into the world. Both birthmom and adoptive mom greeted him together, with love and joy and happiness. They bonded with him together and the birth was wonderful for both women. The next morning the adoptive dad arrived and both women were happy to see him. The wonderful relationship continued as they spent many hours together in the hospital sharing more pieces of their life stories with one another.

When hospital staff would ask the birthmother if she wanted to be alone, she always replied that she wanted the adoptive couple and the baby with her in the room. They were an amazing support at a time when she needed it, and they were so grateful for the time they could spend with her.

While the adoptive couple waited in the state for the adoption paperwork to clear, they spent more time with the birthmother. This included having a photo session with the birthmother and her daughter, the baby and the adoptive couple. It was a beautiful family photo session.

As they said goodbye, they all knew it was really saying talk to you soon. As they already have plans to meet in person soon. They have also set up Skype calls and will continue to email each other.

When adoptive parents follow through on the openness that a birthmother has requested, they are giving a gift back to that birthmother or father. There is nothing like hearing the joy in a birthparent’s voice when they talk of the pictures they just received or the email they just opened. It means the world to them to know that their child is happy and thriving……just as she hoped he would be by choosing adoption.

The staff at Act of Love has many years of experience in coordinating and assisting birthparents and adoptive couples to build strong, healthy relationships. The relationship that is built helps everyone in the adoption triad to move forward in a positive manner and for the adopted child to be in a loving and supportive relationship with their birth family.