I have worked with birth parents for many years. I help them with the adoption process from their very first phone call, all the way through their adoption plan and even offer support after the adoption. One of the questions that I am frequently asked is, ‘How will I know when I see the right adoptive family for my baby?’ Choosing the right adoptive family is one of the most important steps in the adoption process.

Birth parents are able to see many profiles of potential adoptive parents. These families have all been through an approval process. They have had background checks, home studies, sent in references letters and medical reports. The list goes on. So what sets one adoptive family apart from another?

I tell birth parents to think about what they are looking for. Do they want a family with children or no children? Do they want a religious family? Do they want a family with children that have already been adopted or have biological children? I have these birth parents write a list of the top things that are important to them. Then I have them read the profiles and try to really connect with families that may have the same interests as they do such as pets or outdoor activities or enjoy music.

It is interesting how many times birth parents look through the profiles, expecting it to be difficult to decide, and one family will stand out. I have had many birth parents tell me that it was their ‘instincts’ that let them know this was the right adoptive family for their baby. This is a beautiful experience in the adoption process when birth parents feel complete peace in selecting the right family for their baby.