How to Find a Birth Mother for Independent Adoption
Important! If you are considering in adoption, make sure to read this...
One such question you may have about adoptions is how to find a birth mother. There are many ways to locate a birth mother, but the best by far is through an agency, such as A Act of Love Adoptions.
Agencies locate birth mothers who may have the same feelings toward adoption and fit your interests in adoption, using a vast network of resources that other options may not have.
Adoption Tip: Adoption can be an extensive and complicated process, for that reason having an agency who knows the process like A Act of Love adoptions, can make a difference. Get a free information packet here >>
Connecting With Birth Mothers
The best way to connect to a birth mother is through an independent adoption.
An independent adoption is a form of adoption where the biological and adoptive families have a level of access, to varying degrees, of each other's personal information, as well as having an option of contact between the adopted child and parents and the birth mother.
There are openness options, like exchanging pictures, letters and visits.
Many birth mothers have enjoyed the communication with the adoptive parents and receiving information of their birth children.
What are the benefits of Adoption
Research has shown a lot of positives in the lives of children who have open adoption policies with their birth mothers.
“If anything, openness appears to help kids understand adoption; relieve the fears of adoptive parents; and help birth mothers resolve their grief, according to researchers Harold D. Grotevant and Ruth G. McRoy.
“Many of the fears about open adoption do not seem to be a problem,” said Grotevant, a professor at the University of Minnesota and co-author with McRoy of Openness in Adoption: Exploring Family Connections.” (Carney, E. Understanding Open Adoptions. 2017)
This form of adoption shouldn’t be looked at as a panacea for the needs of children, though. It is not without its foibles.
Some research has shown that children with open adoptions between their adoptive and birth mothers can experience issues with self esteem and some do not.
Consider your options carefully and proceed with consideration. Getting details from an agency on what you could do to connect with an adoptive family is always a good choice.
How Much Contact is Normal with Birth Parents?
The answer is, “it depends.” This is decided on by the adoptive and birth mothers together, often with the help of an agency or an attorney.
The openness of the adoption must be managed through a contract or a written agreement, otherwise the adoptive parents retain the rights to how much contact, if any, the birth mothers may have. Levels of contact depend on the interests of the parties involved.
Some have had a little contact as exchanged letters and pictures with no physical meetings, where others have frequent, in person contact or even close, friendly relationships.
Birth mothers do not have to have continued contact if they choose not to. However, research has shown that children who do have contact with their birth mothers after adoption have a greater sense of self worth.
Do what you think is best, of course. The process of adoption is meant to take stress and difficulty away, and to increase the opportunity for the child to have the best possible life.
One of the greatest challenges for parents in an open adoption is the reactions of their own friends and family; people have stigmatized the idea of an open adoption to the point that they frequently will fear it without cause.
Do your research, get familiar with what you want, and be strong in your decision. If you choose Act of Love Adoptions as your agency, they will help you in this process and be a support to you through any issues you face.
Take adoption seriously. When you are considering adoption, be sure to employ the help of an agency who can make the process simple and easy. Act of Love is here to help you every step of the way. For more information, contact Act of Love today.