I want to thank a special birthmother and father for giving me the most wonderful gift I could ever have been given. You see, I was an only child until the age of five. Everybody I knew that was my age or around my age had at least one sibling. But, not me. It was just me, Mom & Dad. Some kids love being the only child, the center of attention or the spoiled child. Not me! I hated it. I wanted “built in” friends, you know, I wanted siblings!
What is really hard for a five year old to figure out was that siblings don’t just happen. I had no clue about fertility problems and the heartache that comes with it. I just knew that my family was different and I didn’t like it.
After some time passed, something wonderful happened. My mom and dad asked me one morning if I would like to come with them to meet my new baby brother! Are you kidding me??? I was beside myself with delight and of course had a million questions to ask my parents. I’m sure this was one reason they did not tell me until that day what was happening. I do not remember the questions, or the ride to the adoption agency or anything else other than waiting, in a room, just the three of us, with more excitement than I could imagine.
I remember the outfit my Mom and I picked out that morning sitting in my mom’s lap. I remember the overwhelming joy and curiosity as a woman brought my blue eyed, four day old brother, into the room. She placed him in my mother’s arms and I sat right next to her, so excited that my life had then changed forever!
After we all held him for a long time, we changed him into the outfit we brought for him. I’m sure other things happened during that time we were at the agency, but I do not remember any of them, my focus was on my new baby brother!
What I did not realize at the time, but came to know as I grew older, was the sacrifice the birthparents made in order to fulfill my dream of being a big sister. My brother’s birthparents gave a gift they so cherished to a family with a young girl who desperately wanted to be a big sister. I have great love and admiration for my brother’s birth mother and father. Placing a child for adoption is not an easy task, it is not taken lightly and by no means does it mean that they did not love him. In fact, it’s just the opposite. They loved him so much that they chose to give him a better life than they could provide. I’m sure their hearts were hurting as they lovingly made the choice.
My parents made sure that as my brother grew; he knew and understood that he came from very loving parents that placed him for adoption. We would talk openly in our family about adoption and both my brother and I knew that he had four parents that loved him dearly. In fact, sometimes I wished I was adopted and had the same things said to me!
Adoption was presented so lovingly in our home that it just became a natural and normal part of our family. It was never shoved in my brother’s face. When he had questions, my parents would answer them as best they could. His adoption took place in 1967, when open adoption was non-existent. My brother asked my mother to help him search for his birthparents when he was in his early twenties. They did the best they could but came up with no information. My brother decided it was best and closed that chapter of looking, in his life.
I thank all birthparents who lovingly give to their child the life they cannot. The joy they bring to an adoptive family is nearly indescribable. I will be forever grateful to those who choose life and choose adoption!