Many birthmothers and birthparents that have placed a baby for adoption, find themselves pregnant again with an unplanned situation. This can cause feelings of disappointment with themselves, embarrassment and sadness. Wondering what to do the second or third time around can cause a great deal of anxiety for a birthparent. As they contemplate what they will do, many have wondered, “What will the adoption agency think of me?” or “What will the adoptive parents say?” This inner turmoil sometimes causes the birthparent to call an agency that is different from the first one they worked with so the agency and the adoptive parents remain unaware of a second placement.
Contrary to this line of thinking, adoption agencies understand that this happens. They are more than willing to help with a second adoption plan from a former birthparent. And, many, many families say to their adoption agency, “If our birthmother finds herself pregnant again and feels adoption is the best option, PLEASE contact us!”
Adoption agencies operate under confidentiality rules and never disclose information about their clients. Birthparents are usually encouraged to consider the option of allowing the adoption agency of notifying their first adoptive couple of the pregnancy and plans for placement. A Act of Love makes it a practice to talk with the birthparent about that before looking at other adoptive parents.
So many adoptive couples have received the call telling them their birthparent is pregnant again and feeling that adoption is once again the best option. Many have been completely surprised, yet excited and thrilled that they can add to their family with a sibling! Others may not be in a situation to adopt again but have greatly appreciated the call.
One birthmother decided that a closed adoption was the best plan for her. She placed with a wonderful family, yet decided she did not want any contact. Upon finding herself pregnant a second time, she called Act of Love Adoption Agency. Agency staff asked her if she would like her first family notified of the adoption. She replied, “I chose your agency because you work well with me and I know by the way your agency treats me that you will pick the right family for my baby.” It just so happened that the first adoptive family had contacted Act of Love and were thrilled to be able to adopt the second child into their family.
Another situation at Act of Love occurred when a birthparent placed for a second time and the first adoptive couple was unable to adopt again, but their great friends and neighbors were on board with Act of Love to adopt and the birthmother selected them. The two children essentially will know each other and grow up together, not in the same home, but as good friends!
For some birthparents, it eases their mind to know that their children will be raised as siblings, in the same home. For others, they just want a loving and safe environment for their child, whether it is in the same home as the last or in a different home. The common theme for all birthparents is wanting the best for their child that they so lovingly placed for adoption.