My name is Skylar, and I am 27 years old. I was born to a very small and loving family. Growing up, there were 6 of us: my parents, my older brother (now 29), my maternal grandparents, and me! I now have three of the most beautiful boys the world will ever see. I have the privilege of being Mommy to two of them; to one, I am a Birthmother.
My life before kids was pretty normal. Growing up, I led a normal life, frequently going camping and fishing with my family. In fact, those adventures are the source of some of my fondest memories today. I always excelled in the world of academics and had normal extracurricular activities, such as cheerleading, basketball, and softball. Then, when I was about 14 years old, I started running away from home quite often. This ultimately resulted in a 5 week visit to the juvenile detention center, followed by a 3 month stay at a group home. When I was 15, I returned home on probation to start my sophomore year in high school. I never ran away again. In 2005, I graduated high school 3rd in my class and was selected Student of the Year.
I attended college for three semesters before I became pregnant with my first son, Edward. He was born August 2007, and he was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I took one year off from college, then returned August 2008, at which point I was pregnant again. Matthias was born in my second semester back in college, February 2009. Despite tremendous obstacles and adversity, I finally graduated with my Bachelor’s degree in English, October 2011. I started working on my Master’s in Mental Health Counseling soon after that. In July 2012, I found myself pregnant again, but this time under different circumstances.
Literally 5 days before I found out I was pregnant, I left an abusive relationship. Needless to say, I was shocked. Terrified. Embarrassed. Ashamed. Guilty. Scared out of my mind. Angry. Sad. Hopeless. Lost. I went to the local Crisis Pregnancy Center, a place I went to before when I was 19 and pregnant with my first son. I knew I could trust the ladies there to help me as I considered my options. Because of their help, I got in contact with A Act of Love Adoption Agency and ultimately decided to place my unborn son for adoption, though I am ashamed to say this was not my first choice.
After talking to Act of Love and gathering more facts about adoption through their agency, adoption became a feasible option. After serious consideration, I knew in my heart that an adoption plan for my son was what I truly wanted. The adoption process was the most stressful time of life. When my son, Matt, was born, March 2013, I had mixed feelings. I was so happy for the adoptive family because they clearly loved Matt and me; my spirit was completely shattered because I knew that I would not be his mommy. After a terrifying C-section delivery and returning home minus a beautiful baby boy, I was broken in almost every way imaginable: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The feelings of loss, grief, guilt, shame, and anger were overwhelming. But they did not last long.
I sought help through counseling, medication, and attending church. These things helped me a great deal, but time has been a balm to my spirit. The initial pains of placing my son for adoption are not prevalent in my life today, though I do get sad some days and even cry. I now have a stable job where I find satisfaction outside of my home. I am able to be physically and emotionally present for Edward and Matthias.
I know that adoption was the right decision for me because all three of my boys have a safe home and loving family. Edward and Matthias have their dad and me. Matt has one of the most wonderful families I have the privilege of knowing. Today, I am happy, healthy, and living life.
If you would like to ask Skylar a specific question, please email Skylar at email@example.com.