Discovering that you are pregnant is a monumental moment for women and their partners. Women and men experience different emotions at this time, some are good, and sometimes those emotions may be shock or panic, depending on their situations. That moment when a woman becomes pregnant, she becomes a mom for the rest of her life, no matter what option she chooses for herself and her unborn child. An unplanned pregnancy can cause some emotions that are not necessarily positive. For example, confusion and panic are some common reactions. I would categorize those emotions as neither positive nor negative…normal, maybe, but neither good nor bad. It is at this moment that women face a decision: to parent the unborn child, seek an abortion, or place the baby for adoption. Because of the emotions that one can experience at the discovery of an unexpected pregnancy, it is important to recognize and work through those emotions before making a decision.
When I discovered I was pregnant with Matt, I kind of freaked out! I just knew that I was not going to keep the pregnancy because of the circumstances I was in. I was in an abusive relationship, and at the time, I thought to myself that I refuse to have a baby with a man who loses his temper so easily. I felt that my baby would be in danger if I kept him. I also had two other small boys, and I was not financially or emotionally prepared to care for another child. I really felt like I had no other option except to terminate the pregnancy. I was shocked, in a panic, and scared for my baby’s life, or what could happen if I were to keep my baby. It was a very difficult time for me emotionally, and initially I lacked the resources I needed to work through my emotions to make a decision I thought was truly right. Instead, I was considering a decision that was rash and emotionally charged.
I contacted the local Crisis Pregnancy Center to ask if they had counseling services for women who have abortions. This was my first step in trying to deal with what I had planned; it turned out to be the decision that would change my life and the life of my baby. The staff at the CPC treated me with kindness and respect. Reaching out to the CPC was a way of seeking help to work through some of the emotions I was expecting to experience. They ended up helping me work through my emotions and providing me with information that would eventually lead me to A Act of Love Adoption Agency.
Talking to the counselor and birth mom coordinator at A Act of Love provided me the emotional support I needed to think clearly. The biggest help was simply getting information about adoption. I was ill informed about adoption until I spoke to them. Getting the right information about the option of adoption actually calmed my emotions and allowed me really make an informed decision about my unplanned pregnancy.
I think in any emotionally charged situation, the right information and the right amount of information marks the difference between facing a lifetime of regrets versus a lifetime of gratitude for the challenges we face and the blessings they bring. If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and are considering what option to choose, I encourage you to seek out resources that are immediately available to you. Perhaps you may want to contact your local CPC, or another resource similar to that, for information on parenting. Contacting an adoption agency just to get information will also help you explore your options. Either way, doing so slows down that decision making process, and you will be helped by those who love their work and want to help you. Most importantly, you will get the information you need to make the decision that is right for you and your baby.
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